When I was a young boy of eight, I knew this evil little swine called Tom who used to catch spiders, pull all their legs off and collect them in a matchbox. He had hundreds of them in there.
One day, Tom offered to show me his much-prized, though gruesome leg collection and as I leaned over to take a closer look, the rotten sod pretended to chuck them at me. Well, always having been completely terrified of spiders, I panicked and jumped back, in the process accidentally smacking my sister in the face with my elbow and making about two pints of blood gush out of her nose.
So it wasn’t all bad news. Fat cow.
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