When I was a lad, I had a huge, vicious German Shepherd dog called Sabre as a pet and he used to attack small children and rip out their throats.
Tell a lie. It was a guinea pig called Floppy and he couldn't even rip the throat out of my sister's Barbie.
Floppy died during a play I was performing for my little friends. Apparently using small furry animals as glove puppets isn’t particularly good for them.
After that, I had to change his name to Stiffy and keep him in the freezer.
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